


The Rain Will Fall

by deliberateObliviscence, johnmykawaiiwaifu



Series: Love, Pain, and Childhood Dreams [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: An old swing set, Assumed death of friends, Comfort, F/F, Frequent walks in the park, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-25
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 11:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/368730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliberateObliviscence/pseuds/deliberateObliviscence, https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnmykawaiiwaifu/pseuds/johnmykawaiiwaifu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Lalonde was taking a walk. It was a cold November afternoon, and the wind whipped her blonde hair into her face.  Raindrops began to spatter down upon her head, hitting the sidewalk and leaving moist splotches on the cement. She pulled her jacket tighter about herself, covering her head with her hood. It was cold. Very cold. But nevertheless, the idea of going back to her house, of going back to her big, old house, empty and dark, was not one she was going to entertain. Her mother wasn’t coming back. Her brother wasn’t coming back. None of them were coming back. They were all gone, forever, and she would never find them again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rain Will Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cawfee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cawfee/gifts).



The park was empty. Children and parents had long since deserted it and it's wooden playground, it's old, rusty swing set. Rose, though it was childish, loved that swing set. She remembered times, happier times, when her mother used to take her here, before it began to fall apart, before the people left it, before its wooden castles rotted away until they were almost nothing. She remembered the times when her mother would push her in the swings, and she would fly so high, or at least it seemed that way when she was young. She remembered climbing upon the wooden structure, pretending to be a princess, wearing her mother's warm, soft scarf, as it waved in the wind. And she remembered as it started to fall apart, as the vines slowly grew over the ladders and stairs of her castle, as rust slowly crept up the sides of her swing set. She knew it wasn't really her swing set, and the small structure, with its caved in roof and fallen away ladder was hardly her's either, nor was it truly a castle. It was simply her childhood dreams, her imaginings, that made it seem like a majestic palace. Sometimes she wondered if she had simply imagined Jade, and John, and all the others. But it couldn't have been true. They were all so real, so human. Or alien, she supposed. But what did it matter? They were gone. Kanaya, and Dave, and John, and her mother, they were all gone. The friends of her youth were now merely shadows of her soul, following her, haunting her dreams. They never left. They rested, quite comfortably, in the dark corners of her heart, where only things unfit for the warmth of the sun resided. They taunted her, their recognizable faces looming before her every time she closed her eyes. It hurt. Her heart ached, she ached. She was just one living ache now, an empty, lost, friendless ache of a woman. And she wanted, she needed, the ache to stop. But it never would. It never could. She was to be forever shrouded in a mist of death and despair, her eyes forever clouded to the beauties of life, her heart safely locked away lest it be crushed again. It all sounded very poetic when she thought it out like that, but it didn't feel poetic at all. It felt like nothing could ever be right again. She wanted to stop feeling. She wanted to just float away and feel nothing, ever again.


	2. Forgetting Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya stared out her window at the rain that was drizzling down her window pane. It was a miserable day. Even the fire that was shining merrily from the fireplace did not cast any light upon the gloom of Kanaya's being. She had been gloomy since she had come here, to Earth, under the foolish misconception that there would be people she knew here. But there were not. And so, Kanaya had gone, and left behind everything familiar. Everything she had once known was now just a faint memory, etched into her mind in fading ink. It was nearly gone, she had begun to forget things, but it still taunted her from the back of her mind. She could still, even now, remember the look upon Vriska's face as she had died, justly, at the hands of Terezi. But she had long since forgotten the faces of many of the others. Jade, Karkat, Tavros, were all just blurry images that hovered about uncertainly. One day they would vanish. One day she would forget it all. Even Rose's face, her precious face, had begun to fade, to blur at the edges. How did her mouth look when she smiled? Kanaya could not remember. How did she speak? Kanaya could not remember. Though she could not admit it to herself. Kanaya was forgetting Rose.

Sometimes, when Kanaya felt as if she were going to forget everything, she would look at the pictures. But even they could not show Kanaya properly the slender curve of Rose's neck, the delicate upturn of the corners of her mouth when she was pleased, the way she spoke in a way that was so elegant and civilized, the way her hands smoothed the folds of her skirt or adjusted her scarf when she was nervous or shy, the way her eyes twinkled when she was excited. They could not show her the true Rose, only the memory Rose, only the Imagination Rose who resided in Kanaya's dreams. They could capture the way Rose looked in a moment, but nothing as false as a photograph or a memory could capture her essence, only sight had enough power to do that. And she was sure she would never see Rose again. So she resigned herself to a life of Memory People, of those whose faces were fading away, whose forms were really no longer anything but shadows, whose spirits were only what Kanaya could piece together from her foggy remembrance of her past. There was simply nothing she could do. But she had to get out of this house, this tiny, claustrophobic space where every wall seemed ready to close in on her, where what few windows there were never cast any light upon the rooms, where the scraggly old tree outside scraped against the glass of the window, leaving long, thin, ghostly shadows on the walls of her living room. She had to remind herself that they were simply shadows, and not the cold fingers of death, that decorated her walls so horribly. She had to get out, before she was engulfed by the memories, by the painful memories that were still, to her, as clear as day. They were all dead. They were not coming back for her. She was not going to find them, at least not in this realm. The prospect of death was almost appealing to her, to see her comrades of days gone by again, to see Rose, and Vriska, and all of those so dear to her broken heart. But she could not simply die. She had found a place in this life. To be sure, it was a miserable, lonesome place, but for now it was her home. Though she somehow hoped that it would not be her home for much longer, it would have to do for now. However, she needed to stop thinking. She needed to escape from the empty, dull void that was her life at home. She needed to go somewhere where those thoughts left her, where the happy memories came back. That was why Kanaya so loved the lake, with its shining blue waters and stooped willow trees, dipping low for the sweetness of it's water. Nobody came there any more, for tourists had long since abandoned the quaint, pretty little places for grander, richer plains, migrating to the tourist shops, the tall buildings, the allure of the glamour and glitter that we all so crave. To Kanaya, however, it was the most beautiful place in the world. And so that ws where she would go today, regardless of the heavy rain that was now drumming hard against her windows, like an unwanted guest. She knew that the winds would have whipped the lake into a choppy, white-capped lake, the water would rush up to meet her where she sat, wetting the soles of her shoes and leaving her toes cold and damp. But there she could remember better, regardless of the weather. She could remember the sunny days, the happy, innocent days of her youth, the days of Rose, of Vriska, of everybody. There she could remember the pleasant times! Oh, those were the days, she would think, wistfully. The days when everything was going to be all right, no matter what happened, because she had Rose, always and forever. The days when everything went wrong, but it was still so perfect. Here was the only place she could truly remember. Everywhere else, she worried, without stop, whether she might truly be losing Rose in the haze of her dreams. Whether Rose was slipping away from her. Here, she never worried about forgetting Rose. Here, Rose was right along side her. Here, her dream Rose and the real Rose became one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, and out the very next day too! Thank you, loyal reader! (Is there more than one of you? I think not.) Cawfee, this is for you, my only friend in this lonely world.


	3. Remembering the Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose sat on the swings, as she rocked gently back and forth. A cool wind blew on her face, and light smatterings of rain tapped upon her lightly flushed cheeks. She smiled slightly at the fond old memories, of John and Jade and Dave and her mother, and of Kanaya. Dear Kanaya, with short, jet black hair and lips a shocking green. How she missed them all. She missed the days of Dave's facade of coolness, of Jade and John's charming naivety and nerdishness, even of her mother's tipsiness. They had all built a happy little community, and they thought it would never end. But end it did. And it ended painfully. She didn't want to remember. So she stood up, stretched her thin fingers up to the sky, and decided to walk a bit longer to try to clear her head.

The rain was quickly pouring, and Rose instantly regretted her decision to leave her umbrella at home. Her hair was soon wet and plastered to her face, her mascara was smudging horribly, and her little fall coat was drenched in water. She was soaked and shivering, and frowning miserably. Clearing her head now seemed a ridiculous idea. She was tempted to head back home, but she couldn't do it. She could not yet face the emptiness, the creaking of floorboards the only company for her in the deserted house. So she headed for the relative comfort of the trees. They shaded her from most of the rain, but she was still freezing. Heading farther down the path, where the trees seemed to thicken, she heard a soft voice, humming, a melodious tune, like birdsong. Rose smiled. The voice was familiar. But no, it could not be. That voice was just her mind, teasing her, making her believe things that could not be true. She was dead. It could not have been Kanaya's voice that was echoing through the trees to her. And yet she headed recklessly on forward, knowing she would find the end of the path empty, her heart aching even worse, and her disposition even more miserable. And yet the voice sounded so real. It was a sweet little tune, about flowers, a song without any meaning. And it was then Rose remembered what she had forgotten. Was it not she who had taught Kanaya that very song? It was indeed. And when she finally came to the end of the path, instead of being alone, she found herself standing behind a girl, with short black hair, singing, as water splashed against her shoes. It was still pouring, and Rose stood still, for about twenty seconds, drinking it in. But it could not be real. She would reach out, to touch her hair, to call her name, and she would disappear as suddenly as she had come. Rose did not want to get hurt again. So she turned on her heel, and ran all the way back to her house, tears in her eyes. There she lay on her bed, in the silence, in the emptiness, for the rest of the night, trying desperately to forget the song that she remembered now so clearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yet another update at ridiculous hours.


	4. Remembering the Song Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya sat by the lake, thinking about Rose. She could remember her more clearly now, the way she moved her hands as she explained things, without meaning. The way her hair fell in her eyes, the way her every move was like a dancer, she was tall, and lean and elegant and she seemed to sway to some unknown, unheard beat. Her laughter was like a chiming of bells, light and sweet and quiet, and her eyes danced with hidden mirth when she talked. She had a sweet voice, though it was usually masked by her sarcasm. Kanaya fondly remembered the adventures they had had in their universe, small and happy and hidden away. She remembered all the laughter, and the talks they would have, long into the night, trying to unravel the mystery of life. She remembered, just then, a song that Rose had taught her. It was a very insignificant memory, and yet it was on of the best, one of the clearest she had of Rose, laughing, teaching her the words to the nonsensical song. Upon some strange whim, she began to hum along with her memory Rose, her bright-eyed, laughing dancer.

It was a pretty song. About flowers in blossom. Nonsensical, but it was sweet to listen to, with a cheery lilt to it. Kanaya remembered how Rose had sung it, with her high, soft voice, shy, quiet, quickly showing it to Kanaya and then stopping. She didn't want to sing. She had a wonderful voice, Kanaya would assure her of that, but she would never sing for more than a few seconds at a time. Then she would blush, a pale, pink blush, and smile, and tell Kanaya to try it. So Kanaya tried, again and again. She sang it different from Rose, louder and fuller, but just as high. Like birdsong, Rose had told her. One day, Rose sang it with Kanaya. Their voices mixed in a melodious shy birdsong, and they sounded beautiful. Kanaya had smiled at Rose. The corners of Rose's mouth had twitched, slightly, then reverted back to their neutral position once again. But Kanaya was used to it. Kanaya was used to Rose's way of hiding everything, the way she hid her playful side behind a mask of sarcasm and loftiness. Kanaya liked being able to unlock a smile, a kind word, from Rose. It was a challenge that she readily accepted. She was glad she had remembered that song. She began singing again, remembering the lyrics as she went along.

Kanaya heard light, delicate footsteps behind her, coming up the path by way of the forest. She opened her eyes. The footsteps were familiar. But they weren't real. They were simply silly Kanaya, imagining again. They would go now. There. They had stopped. It was not Rose after all, just her mind playing tricks. She sighed, and lay back. But then she heard, louder this time, feet hitting the path, running away from her. She turned. There was a girl, tall and lean, her long legs reaching across the path, running like a scared deer. She was a flash, of blonde hair, of purple scarf and black jacket, and Kanaya sighed. Her imagination was getting away with her again. She had seen Rose die, had she not?

And yet it bothered her. This was the clearest image of Rose she had ever seen. It had gotten her details all correct. Why now, why here? Why did she have to be tortured by Rose, running away, disappearing, here where she went so that Rose could be with her? A tear slowly rolled its way down her cheek. It was then that Kanaya noticed, for the first time, the rain that was dripping through the willows onto her head. She looked up, catching one on her nose. She had better go home. And yet it haunted her, that night, as she lay on her stiff old couch, sheets pulled over her head, why this Rose was so real. Why was it that the Rose that made her feel pain was so much realer than the Roses who made her happy? Why did this Rose have to exist at all? She wished she had never gone to the lake that day, and she cried herself to sleep thinking of her disappearing Rose. She woke in the morning with that song still stuck in her head, no matter how she tried to clear it, like a scar. It would not go away. The song she had struggled to remember, she know struggled to forget again.


	5. The End

It was a new morning, much brighter than the last, but the weather did nothing to change the Kanaya haunting your mind, the voice that played in every creak of the floorboards, every gust of wind. You searched desperately for the music, a sign that it was really there. But of course, you never found it. The birdsong you thought was a voice was just another sparrow. The rustling of leaves was the winds work, not hers. Nothing could distract you from thinking about yesterday. It had seemed so real. But that couldn’t be possible. It wasn’t. Just your active imagination playing tricks on you again, you suppose. But that didn’t stop every instinct screaming for you to go back to the lake.

It couldn’t hurt to humor yourself one last time before abandoning that place. It had too many memories, too many suns and moons had been spent there, too many seasons had come and gone filled with childish naivety. Too much time there with her.

Before you had enough time to realize how much this could hurt you, your hands wrapped the velvety scarf around your neck and you were out the door, sucking in fresh air and slipping in the mud created overnight. The trees enveloped you, and you tripped over roots in your haste to get there and be done with it, to prove to yourself nothing would be waiting there for you. You had just imagined it. Maybe now you’d be able to finally let go of her.

But you knew that wasn’t true. You could never truly forget. You knew it would only crush you more to find yourself alone by that lake.

Warm speckles of sunlight warmed the back of your neck where your scarf didn’t cover, and the scent of spring was thick in the air. And then suddenly you were there, the light throwing itself at the waters and bouncing back, multiplied a hundred times. Thin waves rippled across the water, and everything was so bright, so perfect, so like it used to be.

And there she was. Like always, waiting for you. She glanced up upon your arrival, and she looked disheveled, as if she had been there for hours. No smile danced upon her lips. No chirpy hello, no laugh. Nothing but looking.

You hardly believed it. But no Kanaya you ever thought of looked like this, not at the lake. She was never unhappy here, when you and her had been here together long ago. You took a tentative step forwards, reaching your arm out to her though she was still too far away to reach.

“Kanaya?”

Your voice wavered and cracked. You hadn’t said that word out loud in too long. It was unfamiliar to you.

“Rose?” You could hear the pain in her voice. And then there was nothing but you and her, your feet pounding against the slippery grass as you ran towards her. It couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be…

And then you felt her warmth against yours, her palm against your cheek, and her other against your own. You couldn’t say anything, the tears were coming too hard and fast, and she was just barely managing to hold her own back. It was true. She was here. You were holding her again, holding her harder than ever before. 

And it would be a long time before you let go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written mostly by johnmykawaiiwaifu

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfiction, so I don't know if it's any good. Tell me what you think?


End file.
